KDworld

3/1/11 Springfield, MA. (AP) Merriam-Webster announced the addition of a new word to the dictionary today:

Retrocast also Retrocasting: \ˈre-(ˌ)trō-kast\  Using the current situation, e.g. fame, money, success, or power to predict how an unknown past might have seemed, or using an outcome to determine the meaning and impact of the precedence.  It often contains the cum hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy, or the confusion of coincidence / correlation with causality.  It is the heretofore nonexistent antonym to forecasting, or the human obsession with predicting how the past would have occurred to one using the knowledge of hindsight.

5/25/10 Kentucky (Washington Post)  New senate nominee Rand Paul R–Kentucky announced today that he believes people have a constitutional right to discriminate against others.  Citing the philosophical classic “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear,” Paul stated that at “all-white events” it’s impossible for racism to occur.  Therefore the republican candidate supports the rights of private individuals to ban black people from certain lunch counters, sporting events, and the south in general, as long as government or public institutions are not involved.  When asked to explain when “blackness” occurs, Rand was less certain, “Somewhere around #150a08 or 1/52^nd whichever is lighter, unless there is Native American Indian blood, in which case, #452822 or 1/72^nd.  If there is any fraction of illegally-immigrated Hispanic blood,” Rand said, “all bets are off.  Anyone in a wheelchair should shut up and go home, if they can get there.” 

The issue was further complicated when MSNBC transcripts of the interview added a definitive “Yes” to Rand Paul’s answer to Rachel Maddow’s question, “Do you think that a private business has the right to say, ‘We don’t serve black people’?”, when in fact Paul’s answer contained no such definitiveness.  Internet sites were ablaze with the suggestion that MSNBC had later gone back and dubbed a “yeah” into the video, in order to dodge accusations of fraudulent transcripting. 

In an attempt to create greater confusion and distance himself from his potentially unpopular views on this issue, Paul tried to compare the situation to forcing bars to admit people wielding guns.  If only people could check their “blackness” at the door, as it is popular to suggest Bill Cosby has done, then perhaps Rand Paul would be on to something.  Alternatively, bars could be forced to have “blacking” sections, outside, or inside with proper state-inspected ventilation.

Reactions were immediate and varied.  Republican cause célèbre Sarah Palin observed, “Finally someone is hijacking the agenda of the libertarian party, to put those creeps on the defensive and off our backs.”  She then thrust her fist in the air and screamed, “Paleocons Unite!”, while setting fire to a small stack of books she hadn’t read.

Ronald Edwards, head of the KKK, sighed, “At last, we would be able to have lunch without our cloaks.  You try eating Bubba’s Pulled-Pork Gut Bomb with Atomic Sauce while draped in a bed sheet.  My dry cleaning bills are breaking me.”

It is also reported that Ayn Rand insists there is no relation – posthumously, while former presidential candidate Ron Paul agrees that his son’s name has nothing to do with the erstwhile heroine-novelist.  Rue Paul commented that the she, er... he thought that Rand was "cute", but insisted that he, er... she was not related to the would-be-political here.  McCartney, Paul was overheard saying, “I can only speak for myself and Ringo, but we’ve nothin’ to do with this.”

Glenn  Beck wept.  Again.  No, really “again-again” after the other “again”.  Chances are he’s weeping now.